From the Archives: 2012 How Far Have We Come?

I often wonder how far women have come in the journey to find balance between work and home. Mostly, because I don’t know anyone who feels like she has yet figured it out.

In the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Sunday, September 30^th edition there was an interview by David Gergen with Sandra Day O’Connor which touched on this subject. When Sandra Day graduated from Stanford Law School she couldn’t find a firm that would hire a woman for anything other than secretarial work. After convincing a practice in California to let her work for free and sit in the secretarial pool, one could infer from the article she had  proven herself worth hiring; the rest is history (or HERstory), as some now say. But here’s the part that struck me: The first female Supreme Court Justice, some would argue the most impactful modern decider on the bench, believed it pertinent to tell David Gergen that something had to give. Sandra Day O’Connor was the key vote in such landmark cases as Planned Parenthood v. Casey (1992),which upheld the constitutionality of the earlier ruling of Roe v. Wade (1973), Bush v.Gore(2000), which upheld the state of Florida’s electoral college process where the man that received the most votes in that state won the state and in turn the presidency, McConnel v. Fec (2003),which found the McCain/Feingold campaign finance reform law constitutional, determining that large contributions do in fact corrupt the process, and Grutter v. Bollinger (2003), upholding the constitutionality of a University of Michigan’s affirmative action program. Yet with all her power, this “decider-of-history” believed it pertinent to tell David Gergen that juggling the tasks of lawyering and a family were often too challenging, even for her. Specifically, she spoke about her beloved husband and their love-affair/partnership, the man for whom she ultimately stepped down from the bench to care for in the final stages of his life (he died of complications of Alzheimer’s disease several years ago). As well, she mentioned not wanting to work full-time at times during her parenting of their three children, and at the ends of her parents’ lives.

I found it amusing that Justice O’Connor spoke about Ronald Reagan pointing out that she’d have the opportunity through her position to impact women’s work lives everywhere. Who knew that more than she, a brilliant woman who was asked about her typing skills on most of her job interviews after law school, that this was not only an incredible opportunity for her, but that in Reagan’s decision to choose her, he created a sense of gender equality in one of the oldest symbols of male power in the country? She also knew that she needed to tell the truth about women and work---that something has to give. And to her credit, she made tough choices and seemingly managed to juggle a robust career, raise three sons, and stay married to the love of her life. And she hasn’t betrayed women by saying it is easy or that a balance exists between thoseparts of our lives. In fact, she says it is sometimes difficult and requires decisions of “giving things up”.

When I read about Justice O’Connor’s view of women and work, as when I read about any successful woman, I tried to discern a secret ingredient that made her able to tune out the noise of personal life allowing a better focus on such a remarkable career. Or I look for clues that maybe she is one of those enormously gifted people who didn’t have to work hard at her craft therefore, allowing extra time for her personal life. But my conclusion, as always with these stories, is that while she is quite gifted (enough for her to be the female judge President Reagan chose as a model for women everywhere) and yes, she tuned out some of the noise of personal life, the overriding factor for her success is less about balance and more about values.

The common characteristic of successful people, men or women, is that they are clear on who they are so they know how far they can bend. They know what drives them and what will break them. An old family friend once said that while he didn’t always know what he would do, he knew what he’d never do. And that, at the end of the day, is all each of can know. And who can guess history. Certainly, the young cowgirl from Arizona who reached the highest court in the land didn’t.