Artful Beginnings

Art has been a part of me since I owned my first box of crayons. I was an only child for the first seven years of my life, so like many “only children”, I learned to entertain myself in a predominantly adult world. Art saved me. I colored outside the lines. To those who know me that should come as no surprise. I also enjoyed putting things together in new ways. My paper chains that had pre-glued ends were not linear. While they looped to each other to ultimately be able to hang from point A to point B, some of the paper loops had other pieces attached to them, making them more like a mobile than a chain. There are endless examples from my childhood of expressions of my creativity, some of which were questioned by my parents. Apparently, the most egregious art offense occurred during my teen years, when I decoupaged an area of my bedroom wall without permission. I have no memory of how that ended for me, but I suspect, it did not go well.

My collage work today is likely part of a repressed creative expression. But whatever the reason, this fun, expressive art form helped me heal the sleep dysfunction I suffered from over the past two years. I am a watercolor and acrylic fine arts painter, a decorative furniture artist, and by training, a designer of the built world. I studied architecture and, design as an undergraduate student. But the collage art that came pouring out of me two years ago provided the solution for my recurring sleep disorder.

I have dealt with sleep dysregulation for a long time. As with many disorders, I learned to compensate for sleep deprivation. But the loss of sleep led to several poor health outcomes, including overeating and lack of energy for exercise. Two years ago, when my sleep patterns were utterly abysmal, my husband found a sleep study protocol (there had been several other trial programs I attempted) that I decided to join. It was one of the best decisions in my life.

I went through this program with a sleep coach. She checked in with me throughout the day, made sure I was practicing good self-care that supports sleep: low caffeine intake, none after noontime, no alcohol, exercise. One nap no longer than twenty minutes, and not after two in the afternoon. Sleeping alone until sleep regulation occurs. No screentime, telephone calls, food, or beverages past 9 pm, except water. No scary, provocative reading past 9 pm. Nothing in bed except sleep and intimacy. So, no reading, crosswords, or solitaire on my phone before falling asleep and flipping the light off. And this was the most difficult part for me: No going to bed until exhausted. Not tired, but when I literally could not hold my head up. Ugh. Just reviewing this is bringing on slight anxiety!

What could I do? Meditation helped, but not enough. My coach suggested an interest or hobby that requires mindfulness. Gardening was the first thing that came to mind. I am a serious gardener and lover of Nature. You will see that reflected in my art. But gardening after dark simply couldn’t work. I tried crosswords and other word puzzles, but I became bored after a short time. One night after looking for another puzzle book, I found a sketchbook that I had used for a kids’ storybook I had written and illustrated the year before. And so I started sketching again. That was it! I sketched until I started nodding off. I had found something that held my interest until exhaustion.

One art activity led to another, and within a few weeks I set up a worktable in my laundry room, close to my bedroom. I made art every night for months. What came pouring out of me initially was whimsical. The Crazy Cakes collection is based on digital drawings I made over the years as birthday cards for my nieces and nephews. Silly, cockeyed, colorful, nonsensical, and filled with love, cake drawings. Like all the other current pieces in my portfolio, The Crazy Cakes are designed with papers I first paint. Then the papers are ripped and cut before I assemble them into an image.

I will post my other styles of art sometime, but the whimsical works are quite satisfying to me for now. If you read the information about some of them, you will discover that there are often deep meanings attached to the works, even though they appear carefree. But in today’s environment, whimsy feels like the perfect antidote to the world’s messes.

I am going to digress a bit here and share that this past year has been the most difficult of my life for many reasons, not the least of which is the chaos, tumult and despair in the country and world, that makes self-care and self-focus seem trite and inappropriate. It makes gratitude feel Pollyanna-ish. The year’s challenges led to my regressive behavior around sleep hygiene, manifesting itself in various changed behaviors. The biggest behavioral concern was my inability to remember sequences of events. So I sought help believing I was demonstrating symptoms of dementia.

Being a strong woman of privilege, I thought—unrealistically—that I should be able to shoulder the emotional losses of having my Florida home devastated twice within six weeks by hurricanes Helene and Milton, living through the devastation of hurricane Helene in Asheville, where many community members lost their lives, losing a beloved relative suddenly, suffering an  estrangement from a very dear friend who requires no contact with me as she navigates her own personal crisis, and one of my parents being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. As I read this now, I know why I could not sleep!

My fear of dementia and not remembering sequences of events became another stress point adding to my sleeplessness. Did I talk to so-and-so before Milton or after Milton? Did I give that rug away or was it destroyed during Helene? Did I remember my mother’s birthday? When did I last talk to my brother? Did I actually talk to the kids about holidays or was I just thinking about doing that? Did I mail the bills somewhere between Sarasota and Asheville on this last shuffle between repairing properties, or are they still in my backpack? Where is my backpack? Is it in the car, the laundry room? Did I check on friends in Philadelphia after the horrible storm they had?

I called my doctor who reassured me that dementia was not what was going on, but sleep dysregulation caused by stress and emotional flooding was blocking my otherwise usually productive and organized brain. She recommended therapy. After regular meetings with a compassionate and skilled therapist, I began remembering events and dates, and I once again  implemented important boundaries for my self-care. I reiterate how focusing on myself with everything else going on in the world felt overly self-involved. But it is not. I am sharing this in the hope that if you are journeying through similar emotional terrain, you ask for help. I am surrounded with many people of varying degrees of closeness, and I have learned that each of these people is essential to supporting the regulation of my emotional ecosystem. Additionally, good medical care, a privilege, is also important to healing. Doctor Wonderful helped put Humptey Dumptey back together again, first with sleep. The rest became manageable once I slept.

Now for the art. I am thrilled to share my collages with you. Each is handmade, framed and shipped by me. There will be a virtual art gallery opening soon—this month—for which I need technical support. These pieces will be among the larger of my creations and most are focused on nature. Each will have an accompanying description. There will be two Crazy Cakes featured, too. Just for fun! Those pieces are in the for-sale art on this website as well.

As mentioned above, I am a member of two communities hit hard by the severe hurricane season last fall. In Asheville, the art community of the River Arts District was destroyed. I am donating all the proceeds from sales made showcasing my work in other venues, like Facebook, or by word of mouth, and all sales from this newly released website for the month of September. The proceeds are being donated to the RAD Hurricane Relief Fund. Prices have been discounted substantially to support sales, and all prices include framing as shown, and shipping within the continental United States. Please consider supporting this effort and sharing the website with others. Healing and recovery really do take a village.

Lastly, I am seeking collaborations with artists and writers interested in creating an online community, with the potential of creating live events in which we can collaborate in person and promote our work. I have been primarily focused during this last month on advertising the art aspect of my creative efforts, but will be recalibrating in the next few weeks to focus on my books as well. Currently, I am looking for a craft artist to create a doll to accompany my storybook, About Me.

I hope you will continue to check back here. Click on images, poke around and familiarize yourself with the website. Reach out with any questions. Weigh in and just have fun.

With Gratitude.